RIP English

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I keep blindly applying to all the jobs that interests me. Whether I am qualified for it or not is a totally different story. And it looks like I am interested in a lot of things (that is quite a revelation ) One such blind application was to a particular content writing. So I applied and got a call from them, spoke random stuff and was asked to take a test and was given a title “We Are Like This Only – Seven Indianisms Every Writer Should Avoid” (which in two minutes I figured is taken from a blog from a person who shares my same first name :/ c’mon guys, I expected a little more from ya’ll) I wish I can link the blog. I am not doing it [more so because I dont know how to :)]

So I wrote this post for them. It might be a boring post and they wont like it anyway. But for what its worth, here goes

English language is  now a global lingua franca. Over the years, it has evolved  and has incorporated various words from languages all over the world and will continue to do so. Indianism  is a word or expression in English  that is exclusive to Indians. Yes, we truly have a better grammar knowledge than our western counterparts. But our accent (speaking english like Hindi, Tamil, Malayalam or other vernacular language), our ‘desi’ way of speaking makes them feel we are inferior. Even our PM was not sparred of the ridiculing by NY channels. Let the world believe what it believes  but somehow even in written English we see a lot of the said “Indianism” and that definitely has to be curtailed.

People should check twice before using incorrect words and phrases.

Prepone

It is that one word I have heard a countless times and corrected it every time I have heard it. Prepone is not the opposite of postpone. “Will you prepone the meeting? No! I shall advance the meeting.” Prepone doesn’t  exist (Yes, you can see the little red line in a word document when you write prepone)

Okay & Only

Indianism at its best. We use okay for everything. As a  question ,”You do this, okay?” ; as an answer You must do this-okay;  No, not okay.

“We are like this only; we are only like this; we only are like this.” Only is used in the exact same way as okay.  Anywhere and everywhere it may deem fit or not. Definitely not OKAY

Redundancy

Any writer should keep in mind the redundancy error. We are accustomed to so much redundant phrases and words that somehow it starts sounding right. “From my past experience“-experience would suffice. “The place was surrounded on all sides with water” Check and double check. It definitely without doubt helps.

More Busier

Never ever use” more busier”. One cannot use two comparative words together.(Its busy-more busy-most busy)

Yeah

Do not “yeah” anyone. Yes, we are getting westernised. We are adapting western culture in every possible way but we can do less of YEAH and more of YES. The usage of yeah can be seen more in verbal communication than written. But nonetheless it should be noted.

 

 

who-whom/your-you’re

Y-O-U-R is YOUR . YOU’RE is YOU ARE. Note the difference. There is the classic case of who and whom. With whom? not with who. And this particular error is not subjective to Indians alone. In years to come, I believe “whom” will cease to exist.

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Apostrophe

The girls are here. It is a girls’ school. I am at a girl’s house. Never ignore apostrophes. Apostrophes can change meanings drastically. Teacher’s pet; Teachers’ pet,  see the difference there.

To add a few more, there is apologies (plural for apology) and apologize (the verb) No Xerox, but photocopy.(Xerox[n] is the company)  Usage of english in verbal communication like “coming na, going na ; company ki, bus ki, auto ki can be completely avoided to prevent verbal suicide.

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I stopped there. But it is humanly impossible to restrict to just 7. And one can see that I have combined two together [smart, aint i ;)] I am gonna add a few more from my experiences. Addition of na, a and ki. college a.. coming a.. There is the resounding O. Cooooolege, gooooooing,. The “h”. We add h to words for a reason. Usually the “ish” sound. And it is conveniently forgotten. SHarp and not SArp.And the irritating fake accent. Starting from AIshwarya rai bachan-“CUZ YOU’RE WORRRRRRTH IT” to the local crowd who just returned from some damned foreign country to the even more local people who work in big “corporates”. Stop rolling your R’s and stop faking accent because we can figure its fake. And last but not the least “ther s typin lik dis, wich s k fr a whil bt lng notes dnt mk snse nymre” here is a sample of how irritating write that way can be,

“*** By de way its hidden frm ur timeline i want u too fight vth me again just lyk last yr as i din vshu nu” -a friend on a social networking site!

And Indians are not the only people who kill english. The rest of the world follows suit. And if oxford dictionary is adding “selfie” as a word this year, English might as well die!

RIP English

rip english

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