Dustiest corners of my mixed up soul

I recently came across this line “Its great to have someone who can love even the dustiest corners of your mixed up soul” Yes its true. Sometimes all one can do is just hope.
So what about the rest of us who don’t hope. Hopeless? are we? Nein, we are people with less hope.  Many would call an attitude like this cynical. I say its being a realist. Only those who have been through enough can identify between being hopeless and having no hope.
I used to believe in love, in magic and disney.Now magic and disney stopped when I was young ( guess I was pretty smart back then! ;)) I never stopped believing in love though. How could I? when I was surrounded by family and friends who loved me crazy.
And then life happened
Slowly I learnt about people and relationships and every other topping one can add on. I learnt about deceit, revenge, rejection, denial, fakeness, friendly people, not-so-friendly-people, vengeance, being judgmental and everything that is synonymous with it. I can proudly say now that every idea I have about a person or a thing is what I have learnt from experiencing it first hand. Too many heart aches, too many rejections, too many denials and way too many dreams down the drain.
So Am I cynical? yes. Do I have a problem trusting people? yes, definitely. Do I have a problem getting attached to anything or anyone? A big yes, because its easier to not be attached than trying disentangle yourself.(cowardice-true that) Have I learnt enough lessons? I dont think so! I am dumb for the most part, the theoretical dumbness not literally of course. Is someone ready to love such a mixed up dusty soul? Maybe.. But I cannot.Suffice to say I am better off without hope 🙂
Have I lamented enough? YES, ENOUGH SAID

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