My take on Mr.and Mrs. Iyer

For a few weeks now, I was mulling over on what to write for its been a while since i blogged, bloggers block you can call it, if you may. I just finished watching Mr. and mrs. Iyer for probably the 100th time (I am not counting) Everytime I watch that movie I come up with a different perspective; probably something my mind wants to wants to understand. This time was no different. It struck me again and again how inexperienced and cushioned Meenakshi was. her cloistered upbringing was evident in her caste differentiation, limited friends, early marriage and a secluded guarded life without much knowledge about the harsh realities that exist. Konkana Sen was amazing; she did her south drawl, the big eyes surprise look, the “spashtamana” (thick accented) english was a little far fetched but then again deepika padukone was worse in Chennai express. I do not understand why the hindi filmakers think South Indians have mother tongue influence, especially the tamils. WE DON’T.

The characterisation between the lead roles cannot be more diverse. He was diametrically opposite to all her beliefs and values and Rahul Bose was at ease as always in his role.

I am digressing. I wanted to detail on the immaturity of the heroine’s character, that she could have waited before getting married is so evident (especially because of the bgm “If Only……”)When I had earlier suggested this movie to one of my friends he was pretty irritated at the fact that she was getting attracted to someone other than her husband. In his world, it was a crime, cheating maybe. I couldn’t agree with him back then and I can’t agree with him now.She has been sheltered and raised in a very orthodox manner. It is only natural for her to get attracted to a man who has been with her in dire circumstances, which she surely has not faced in the past.   If the heroine had known the world; as in a little more maturity, a little more life experience then yes, probably one can call her a cheater, an opportunist or any other expletives. But, here in this movie she was a naive young woman.If she had known exactly what she wanted, rather than just loving what was offered to her, there will be no questions of “what if…” One can know atleast to a certain extent what one one wants only when he realises what he doesn’t want.This is applicable from icecreams to husbands.

One should laud the director for the climax when Rahul Bose gives her the the roll from his camera. They accept reality and move on. A train journey to be remembered.

I believe experience, travelling and knowing people is significant. Being in India, especially women for the most part lead a very sheltered life. Agreed, India is definitely not woman friendly when it comes to single women safety but it imperative explore the world before getting hitched for good. Love is important, commitment and responsibilities even more so. But, you never know about yourself or others if you limit your world to a small circle of friends, family and relatives. The world is a big place and if statistics is right, there are over 7 billion people, there is too much to know, too much to learn and to much to comprehend and blinding oneself a little slower might turn out to be the best thing one does for himself.

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Love and the lack of it

In this era, we see giant leaps in technological, scientific and economic developments. One can also see progressive change in terms of culture. I would like to emphasize on the cultural changes that I have witnessed in my 20 something years. I come from a family that strongly believes in marriage and companionship even in the most dire circumstances.Being in India, it is not news for people to stay together for 40+ years. As far as I remember none of the daada-daadis I know have broken up because they had differences between them. They TRIED, way harder than we can ever imagine. Even the love stories back then, be it in the movies or in real life were stronger than what we see today. No one threw away things that were broken, they tried to fix it.

So what happened now? I see people break up, as quickly as they got into it.Being in a relationship is a craze now. saying, “I have a girlfriend/boyfriend” , has become the in-thing and it starts right from the teenage years.  But us, Indians, are in a very delicate position. We cannot completely embrace the western culture, nor can we not do without it. We are like those cats on a wall, which has no idea which way it wants to jump

In the western culture, you ‘propose’ marriage not love. And it is fine for them to be in a relationship and not be in love. Can we relate to that. No. For us, relationship means love. So then do we take it till death do us part. No. That is also not possible. Again in western culture, being in a  “relationship” is never a problem. The way they define relationship is a lot different from what we define relationship. Are the men and women in India fine with having one too many sexual partners. A definite no. We are scared about what “society” talks. the “society” will talk if you are open about your relationships and you will always have to be the model citizen. A little deflection and you are doomed for life and the “society” will keep the gossip mill running forever.

So how does “being in love” work here?

1. We need love, in other words, we need the independence to choose our own life partners. If one needs that kind of independence, then he/she should not care about what the parents think, get married, be happy or not be happy. Live together forever or divorce. Whatever you decide to do with your life you can do, irrespective of what anyone else thinks because it is your life and your decisions.But we never follow this chains of events. “fall in love”, make the parents says yes, if they say no, leave the guy/gal. Is this love??

2. Rush into the first girl you meet in school/college/office/coffeeshop. Pronounce your undying love. Date for a few months and then figure you love is obviously dead. Break up.And one of them ends up miserable. Why pronounce something if you yourself is not sure of it?

Being in a relationship is much much different than being in love. I believe that love, conditional or unconditional definitely exists and its improper usage is unfortunate. I hope in the years to come people go back and know themselves before they jump into relationship and love. Figure out what they want and fight for what they believe and to never justify their stupidity.  Getting influenced by the western society is not a bad thing. But one must know when it should stop and where we should draw the line. We are a country rich in cultural heritage and  when people from other countries are awed by our way of living we must make sure we do not forget our roots in the western frenzy.

Being a feminist I definitely believe no one should put up with shit. The magnitude of the problems should be weighed before running away without a fight. Every problem has a solution in its back and at this day and age we should start learning how to fix the problems than just throw it all away. I would like to quote something here that inspired me to write this post, “No one falls  in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work and no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.”

Over and out

RIP English

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I keep blindly applying to all the jobs that interests me. Whether I am qualified for it or not is a totally different story. And it looks like I am interested in a lot of things (that is quite a revelation ) One such blind application was to a particular content writing. So I applied and got a call from them, spoke random stuff and was asked to take a test and was given a title “We Are Like This Only – Seven Indianisms Every Writer Should Avoid” (which in two minutes I figured is taken from a blog from a person who shares my same first name :/ c’mon guys, I expected a little more from ya’ll) I wish I can link the blog. I am not doing it [more so because I dont know how to :)]

So I wrote this post for them. It might be a boring post and they wont like it anyway. But for what its worth, here goes

English language is  now a global lingua franca. Over the years, it has evolved  and has incorporated various words from languages all over the world and will continue to do so. Indianism  is a word or expression in English  that is exclusive to Indians. Yes, we truly have a better grammar knowledge than our western counterparts. But our accent (speaking english like Hindi, Tamil, Malayalam or other vernacular language), our ‘desi’ way of speaking makes them feel we are inferior. Even our PM was not sparred of the ridiculing by NY channels. Let the world believe what it believes  but somehow even in written English we see a lot of the said “Indianism” and that definitely has to be curtailed.

People should check twice before using incorrect words and phrases.

Prepone

It is that one word I have heard a countless times and corrected it every time I have heard it. Prepone is not the opposite of postpone. “Will you prepone the meeting? No! I shall advance the meeting.” Prepone doesn’t  exist (Yes, you can see the little red line in a word document when you write prepone)

Okay & Only

Indianism at its best. We use okay for everything. As a  question ,”You do this, okay?” ; as an answer You must do this-okay;  No, not okay.

“We are like this only; we are only like this; we only are like this.” Only is used in the exact same way as okay.  Anywhere and everywhere it may deem fit or not. Definitely not OKAY

Redundancy

Any writer should keep in mind the redundancy error. We are accustomed to so much redundant phrases and words that somehow it starts sounding right. “From my past experience“-experience would suffice. “The place was surrounded on all sides with water” Check and double check. It definitely without doubt helps.

More Busier

Never ever use” more busier”. One cannot use two comparative words together.(Its busy-more busy-most busy)

Yeah

Do not “yeah” anyone. Yes, we are getting westernised. We are adapting western culture in every possible way but we can do less of YEAH and more of YES. The usage of yeah can be seen more in verbal communication than written. But nonetheless it should be noted.

 

 

who-whom/your-you’re

Y-O-U-R is YOUR . YOU’RE is YOU ARE. Note the difference. There is the classic case of who and whom. With whom? not with who. And this particular error is not subjective to Indians alone. In years to come, I believe “whom” will cease to exist.

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Apostrophe

The girls are here. It is a girls’ school. I am at a girl’s house. Never ignore apostrophes. Apostrophes can change meanings drastically. Teacher’s pet; Teachers’ pet,  see the difference there.

To add a few more, there is apologies (plural for apology) and apologize (the verb) No Xerox, but photocopy.(Xerox[n] is the company)  Usage of english in verbal communication like “coming na, going na ; company ki, bus ki, auto ki can be completely avoided to prevent verbal suicide.

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I stopped there. But it is humanly impossible to restrict to just 7. And one can see that I have combined two together [smart, aint i ;)] I am gonna add a few more from my experiences. Addition of na, a and ki. college a.. coming a.. There is the resounding O. Cooooolege, gooooooing,. The “h”. We add h to words for a reason. Usually the “ish” sound. And it is conveniently forgotten. SHarp and not SArp.And the irritating fake accent. Starting from AIshwarya rai bachan-“CUZ YOU’RE WORRRRRRTH IT” to the local crowd who just returned from some damned foreign country to the even more local people who work in big “corporates”. Stop rolling your R’s and stop faking accent because we can figure its fake. And last but not the least “ther s typin lik dis, wich s k fr a whil bt lng notes dnt mk snse nymre” here is a sample of how irritating write that way can be,

“*** By de way its hidden frm ur timeline i want u too fight vth me again just lyk last yr as i din vshu nu” -a friend on a social networking site!

And Indians are not the only people who kill english. The rest of the world follows suit. And if oxford dictionary is adding “selfie” as a word this year, English might as well die!

RIP English

rip english