C is for Chutiya ?? 

‘Chutiya’ – In the past one month, i would have heard this word over a thousand times. No kidding there with the number; so much so that I have to literally pull myself out of that ZONE. Well, in all honesty i am A TAMILIAN and i do not know HINDI and after 3 months associated with a few people, i decided i am better of knowing only what i know. Very recently i learnt that ‘Chutiya’ is the hindi word for Vagina. And according to some answers in quora, it means a cunthead which literally means a fool? Offensive much ?

I may sound naive and ignorant here but i do not understand the attraction, if i may call it that, of men calling each other vagina in all their regional languages !

I want to know why being called a vagina is an expletive !?  Does it mean you are as good as a vagina? As strong as a vagina? Resilient, maybe? Or as wanted as a vagina? Now there are other expletives,  this fucker, that fucker, mother fucker, behen chod aka sister fucker again because people think its morally wrong ? Then GoT should have more haters and moral policing ! I am digressing, that’s a story for a different day !  As a good friend pointed out, there is ofcourse “fucking good/bad”, aren’t they expletives too?  Yes, I guess. In all probablity maybe it is a person’s comparison to their own coitus which is their benchmark in life. I definitely feel sad if that’s the case.

So about chutiyas, the feminist in me is much more offended because you compare balls, which presumably is extremely sensitive, as power; and vagina which has a lot more resilience, as an expletive. When someone is going to say you have the balls, I think thats when people should feel ashamed. No? I don’t know !! But what i did realise is the influence of patriarchy even when one is swearing !! Most of the words that are commonly used to swear somehow has the feminine gender involved. it sickens me to know that body parts especially that of women should be used as profanity. It is hypocritical of a heterosexual man / woman to speak that way. Maybe people do talk about male genitals/gender too as a swear word and I am ignorant about it and in this case, ignorance is bliss !

I have sworn more than my fair share and I did not feel bad until yesterday. The constant use of derogatory terms gives a very negative, unhealthy environment to be in and that toxicity affects you. It definitely affected me ! And this post is a vent for me. I did my bit of research to search for the etymology of these words, google was not a lot of help. But, I did find out that fuck  actually has a germanic origin. Chutiya was very hard to find, but I found something on pussy, which pretty much is used the same way as that of chutiya. Click on the link here . What i couldn’t find  or understand as to why these words are used as derogatory terms. Many have the same question but not a clear answer.

At 5’2″ I always wonder how the world looks for tall people; It will always, always baffle me. Likewise, men calling each other chutiyas aka vagina because they are friendly or because they are annoyed and degrading women by making it an expletive will remain a mystery to me.

P.S : To whomsoever reading this post, if you are used to using expletives extensively, think for a minute if everyone around you are comfortable to hearing all that from you and if you are okay when others use them on you !

We are all called cultured for a reason !


A memory like a sieve

Etch, v.

be permanently fixed in someone’s memory

Mia brushed a tear from her eyes as she left the house, looking back at it one last time.

Mia, a successful entrepreneur, returned to her hometown for her mother’s funeral. Her hometown is a small village in the far eastern side of the country. Mia left her village before she hit her teens, to escape her life, to make something of herself and promising never to come back. She was pushed to leave the place.  She worked hard, studied even harder and took up a job in a large corporate before starting her own clothing line.

After years of escaping the inevitable, she was back to where it all began. Nothing had changed in her hometown in these ten years, except for a few new shops and some brand new sign boards. From the corner of her eye she saw her old school, it still looked the same as it was when she first entered it. Memories haunted her. She knew this would happen to her. Even the slightest thought brought tears to her eyes. Time has healed her scars but they were scars nevertheless. Instinctively, she touched her forehead, a small crescent shaped scar was slightly visible. Her cry of pain still echoed in her own ears.

“No, leave me alone,” she cried as tears rolled from her eyes. He advanced towards her with his cane.  Her step-father was an irascible SOB, a sadist. His laughter when she cried echoed through the hallway. It was his hobby. She feared to get back home from school. And he hit her so hard even if she was a minute late. She had no friends or family except her mother. Her mother tried to stop him, but she was too weak to put up a fight and win. Even the cops turned a blind eye as he was one of their own.  She couldn’t leave him because she loved her mother so much.And her mother couldn’t leave for she feared him so much.  Mia hoped and prayed for a miracle.

Miracle happened, after all. At least for her, if not for her mother. He lost his legs in a car crash. Knowing her mother will be safe thereon, she left to the point of no return. Until today

10 years later, nothing changed. The big iron gates opened as she entered her house for what will be the last time. He was there, sitting near her dead body. He was neither young nor had his old brute strength. He was helpless. Her heart leaped a little with joy, seeing him that way. But she knew better than to feel happy for a  helpless old man. Without a word, she turned her head towards her mother’s lifeless body and knew that her mother will rest in peace now.

The little connection she had with her hometown is now over. She did not know whether to sigh in relief or feel sad to break away from her roots forever. She knew, a piece of her heart would always yearn for a better past. Mia brushed a tear from her eye as she left the house, looking back at it one last time.

The memories resonating in her mind’s eye, will stay forever.